On the day of the Queen’s jubilee

Young Bob was excited to see

All the royals so grand

From his seat on the stand

That he let out a glorious wee

Old Tom loved his garden so green

With the finest of veg you have seen

So he talked to his plants

And he shooed off the ants

And made love to his large runner bean

Young George set a challenge in June

To be the first boy on the moon

But the rocket he made

From a broken lampshade

Was too small for that junior buffoon

There was a young lady from Perth

Who was blessed with a tremendous girth

As the years passed she grew

Till it took a whole crew

To move her anywhere on the earth

There was a young fellow called Dan

Who decided to get a suntan

So he lay on the ground

Watched the sun going round

And he tanned, what a simple old plan

The terrible truth about Bob 

And the banks that he so loved to rob

Was found out by his wife

When she lost her short life

And was stabbed like a cheap shish kabob

I feel really bad for my brother

And the secrets he tried to uncover

He once spied on his wife

Had the fright of his life

When he found out that I’m her new lover

A boy once went out with my sister

And without asking twice he just kissed her

Well the joke was on him

For the kiss was quite grim

As his lips landed right on a blister

My wife is afraid of small mice

If she sees one she’ll jump in a trice

She may shout scream and moan

But when I’m home alone

I’ll leave cheese ‘cause I think mice are nice

There was an old man from Beirut

Who possessed just one single grey suit

He would wear it all week,

But by Sunday the reek

Was so strong it would make the man mute